Reflections on my conversation with Thomas Curran on last week’s episode of The Courage Effect, where he talks about his book, shares personal stories about how perfectionism impacted his life, and his larger research on the topic.

I invite you to join me in not only celebrating new beginnings, but conclusions. Set aside the time to look back at 2023 to ponder what was great, the painful, and the unexpected. What gifts did it render? What are we ready to leave behind? In turn, we then shift to develop a clearer vision of what’s next.

If you’re in a conversation with me, there’s no doubt you’ll see my hands getting in the mix. Maybe it’s the same for you . . . gesturing with our hands/arms/body to create emphasis, add context, or show someone we’re listening. Body language is a big part of how we communicate – a set of tools we might be under (or over) using.

Recently I’ve been sitting in a space of beginnings and endings – feeling an array of emotions including excitement, loss, and acceptance across my experiences.

. . . sometimes I think the kindest thing we can do for each other is to not stay silent for the sake of creating harmony — to speak up when alternative ways of thinking or action might surface possibility.

Whether we find our work satisfying or it leaves us wanting more, its reach into our brains (and lives) might be farther than we’d like it to be.

Looking back on this past year, I’m reflecting on where I – and my clients – took chances and reaped measurable rewards.

It strikes me that singing the passagio is similar to other transformations we experience: the ways we move through discomfort by testing ourselves and trying new things. This liminal space – the “messy middle” – is where we adopt different techniques, construct hacks, and disrupt what’s in our regular rotation to achieve the goal of creating a smoother experience.

September is my favorite month of the year. As the temperatures start to drop (even by just a few degrees) and the days become shorter, it gives me a feeling of welcome change and renewal. Some people think I’m crazy, mourning the end of summer as they slog back into old routines. But for me it’s a chance to hit the reset button.

Ultimately it’s up to us as leaders – regardless of where we sit in an organization – to recognize systematic forces, identify where they encourage both beneficial and detrimental behaviors, and take steps to create positive tides of change.

As someone whose work revolves around change, I see every challenge as an opportunity to realize something transformative. This moment is the ultimate reminder of what I do, and why I do it. If you're mad as hell right now, I invite you to join me in channeling your anger into positive action.

The voices we give airtime to in our minds – just like the passengers we invite into our cars – is ultimately up to us.

Overfunctioning stems from the tendency to be a “fixer”, where we take on too much responsibility and wrangle things because we worry that no one else will.

How do you curate kindness and compassion in your everyday life?

One of the things that I create space for every day is connecting with people. It literally feeds my soul.

How might we apply the spice analogy to how we communicate?

In the past 48 hours, I’ve had 4 people ask for my support in preparing to start a hard conversation. Each one was nervous and a bit uncomfortable in their own way . . . all of them were mustering their courage to create dialogue they knew they needed to make happen.

With the new year comes both reflection on the past 12 months and intention setting for the 12 that lie ahead.

As I’ve been immersed in my holiday cooking these past few weeks, I’m reminded of how valuable good preparation can be.

In my 4th grade classroom, our teacher repeatedly said “put your ears on” to those of us who weren’t listening to him as attentively as he would have liked.